The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
