strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
