The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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