And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
