That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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