Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
