I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
