Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
