Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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