TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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