Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
