i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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