Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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