physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
