I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
