I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
