I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
