Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
