Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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