I need help removing her.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
