: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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