I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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