i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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