I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
