Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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