you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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