I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
