I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
