There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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