Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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