When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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