I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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