Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
