But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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