There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
