Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
