What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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