I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
