Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
