He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
