I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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