Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
