She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
