Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
