Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
