no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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