apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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