She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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