My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
