Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
