If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
