how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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