i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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