every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
is wine microwaveable?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
