When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
